Let’s be real—breakups are a universal ordeal. But let’s talk about the side-splittingly funny things women do post-breakup to cope with the emotional rollercoaster. From deleting numbers to finding religion, the hilarity knows no bounds. Buckle up because this ride is about to get wild!
1. They Delete His Number
The absolute first move. A guy breaks her heart, and that number is outta here! But here’s the kicker: she doesn’t really forget it. Oh no, that number is etched in her brain forever. Ask her in five years, she’ll still remember it vividly. So, who are we fooling?
2. They Become Relationship Experts
Break up with a lady, and boom—instant relationship guru! Suddenly, she possesses a PhD in dating. Relationships become her favorite discussion topic, and she’s doling out advice left, right, and center. Never mind her own love life is in shambles; she’s now the Oracle of Love.
3. They Become Religious…Again!
After a rough breakup, you can bet she’s hitting up all those spiritual places she neglected. She’s finding comfort in religion, praying for a better beau. But as soon as Mr. Right comes along, it’s back to the usual schedule. God bless His mercy, right?
4. They Play More Slow Songs
Breakup playlist? Check. Adele’s albums? On repeat. It’s all about those soul-crushingly sad songs that make you bawl your eyes out. Watching “A Walk to Remember” while lying in bed sobbing? Classic. Even if your relationship is rock solid, Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ will get you tearing up. It’s almost magical.
5. They Turn Stalkers
This one’s a gem. Post-breakup, women turn into top-tier sleuths. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook—you name it, she’s there, keeping tabs. Some even go as far as calling their ex with a hidden number! And when he answers? Radio silence. Yep, caught you there, ladies. Future CIA agents, all of you!
6. They Hang Out More
Newly single? You bet she’s out and about. Even if she wants a quiet night in, her friends drag her out. It’s all about living life to the fullest, especially if there’s a chance their ex might be around. Dressed to impress, just to make him sweat it out seeing what he’s missing. And hey, Mr. Right might just be across the dance floor.
7. On to the Next One
Some women waste no time. They go from being ‘good girls’ to flirting with the guys they kept on the back burner. These ‘besties’ know the drill. Before you know it, she’s got quite the entourage. It’s kind of impressive, actually!
8. Eat Unreasonable Amounts of Junk Food
Ah, emotional eating—our favorite vice. Having a bad day? Why not drown your sorrows in ice cream, chips, and poutine? Sure, you feel gross afterward, but for those fleeting moments, it’s pure bliss. Calories don’t count when you’re heartbroken, right?
9. Get Drunk
Oh, you knew this was coming. Not just drunk—blacked out, obliterated, can’t-remember-a-thing kind of drunk. Whether it’s tequila shots or a bottle of wine, the goal is the same: forget the heartbreak, at least for tonight.
